So I can enjoy some time with Emmett and get acclimated to life with a newborn and a toddler, I asked some of my blog buddies to play along and answer some hard-hitting questions about pregnancy and motherhood. I did the same thing after I had Owen, if you want to check out those.
My fashionable, jewel tone-loving, fellow night owl friend Haneen from Haneen’s Haven is sharing her experiences and insights. Haneen met in person on the dance floor at a blog conference in 2016. I was a tad tipsy, and kept telling her I could “Snap her like a chicken” a la Aunt Voula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding because Haneen is rather petite and thin. She’s currently making over her kitchen for the ORC, and I can’t wait to see the results.
Haneen has 4 adorable kids so she’s basically a pro at this preggo/mom stuff.
What did you enjoy about being pregnant?
I loved how happy the world seemed to be when I had a belly. People were just NICE. As soon as someone looks down and sees you’re “with child,” they smile. Hold a door. Offer unsolicited, but generally sweet advice. I also loved feeling my babies move. It was always a fun reminder that they’re doing “ok” in there.
What did you NOT enjoy about being pregnant?
Ugh. Let’s see. The uncomfortable sleeps. The back pain. The not being able to breathe when I was at a prenatal massage and I was on my back. I literally popped up without warning because I had to gasp for air. She had to do the rest of the massage with me laying on my side.
What did you miss most during your pregnancy/pregnancies (booze, sushi, lifting heavy objects, being able to fit into tight spaces, etc.)?
My waist! I love fun belts! And cocktails!
Any interesting pregnancy cravings?
Any interesting pregnancy aversions?
The smell of meat! Turkey in particular.
If you weren’t married to your spouse and could choose one celebrity to father your children, who would that be and why?
Well, thanks so much for asking, Chelsea! I appreciate the opportunity to play pretend for a hot minute. This would be a hybrid between John Mayer and John Krasinski. Hot musician who is FUNNY. Someone I can harmonize with and who makes me belly laugh. Oh wait, was this who I’d want? Or just who I’d want to father my children? Still translates. I want musical children who appreciate the arts and who go through life with a sense of humor. So, John and John with a cherry on top, please.
Let’s pretend you’re a mega celebrity, what would you name your baby/babies (i.e. Pilot Inspektor, Chicago West, Fifi Trixiebell)?
Chelsea, you’re killing me. These questions are THE BEST. Ok, so truthfully, I’m bummed I never got to use the name Cleo Simone, but that’s pretty normal. So, if I were to go straight up Kardashian on you, I’d try to get away with an artist name. Like, Matisse or Warhol.
What are the three baby products you couldn’t live without?
Wine, ear plugs, and therapy. Oh, you said babies? I thought you meant teens. Real answer: baby swing, swaddle blankets, pacifiers.
Must have postpartum product.
Those water squirt bottles. Sorry, keeping it real here. Take a few home from the hospital with you and keep one under the sink in all of your bathrooms. They give the most comfort/relief for your vajayjay.
What’s one thing you didn’t know about babies before you had your own?
You should really treat those first three months as a “4th trimester.” I know that doesn’t mathematically make sense, but work with me here. They still want to feel as if they’re cozy in your belly. So in those first three months out, they should really be swaddled up so they feel like they’re still inside; nice and secure. It comforts them. Whenever my babies cried, more often than not, if I swaddled them tight, they calmed down.
If I offered to care for your child/children for 48 hours what would do, where would you go, etc.?
I have a wise answer and an answer that sounds way more fun. Honestly, I always say “I wish someone would take the kids for a few days so I can DEEP clean the whole house and organize the garage and clear out the basement storage room!” So, with that said, I would love to clean, clean, clean without distractions. BUT, let’s forget the chores and have some fun for this question’s sake. I’d start with a run to Anthropologie/West Elm/Home Goods, have coffee with friends, maybe roam a museum for an afternoon, end the day with a live show. If we’re talking make believe, let’s go ahead and make that a private show from John Mayer or Ed Sheeran or Adam Levine where they’re singing just to me and there’s quality eye contact. Perhaps the next day we (and by “we,” I mean John, Ed, Adam, and I) hit a swanky cocktail bar that’s décor is chic AF ( a la Sketch in London #bucketlist), go dancing, get up the nerve to karaoke, and wake up with no hangover. Doable.
Any sage mom advice you’d like to share?
Here’s the thing. I know everyone says “it goes so fast.” And when you’re in the thick of it you just want to tell that person to shove it where the sun don’t shine. But in all honesty, as a mom of four ranging from 4 years old to 14, it really does go fast. And if I had to choose my favorite age, it’d be when they’re brand new. Yes, it’s hard and you’re tired and it’s complicated trying to figure out exactly how to keep a fresh human alive and content. BUT…. at that new teeny tiny age, all they need is YOU. It’s a beautiful thing when your baby is crying and it stops when you pick it up and snuggle close. Trust me when I say that changes when they get older. Sure, a hug from mom is always the best, but it just isn’t the same when they’re teenagers. They tense up and just want the hug to be over. Nothing beats baby snuggles. Nothing. I whine about motherhood all the time, but if there’s one thing I am, it’s honest, and I can honestly say I LOVE babies! Enjoy their tiny size, the smell of their breath, and their chubby rolls while it all lasts! Now pardon me while I go cry in a pillow because my oldest will be off to college in 4 short years. Can’t believe I just said that. Lately I’ve been feeling like champagne will be in order when that time comes. Chelsea, what have you done!!??? This question got me feeling all kinds of nostalgia! Thanks for nothing.
Do you have a funny pregnancy, birth, or motherhood story you’d like to share?
Warning! This is TMI!!! My first weighed 8 lbs 11 oz. I had a hard time healing and ended up needing surgery. Insert that monkey face emoji with hands over its eyes. I recall the doctor being young and HOT. When I “came to,” he asked if I had any questions. I remember drowsily asking when I could have sex again. Then I started really waking up and said, “Wait, did I already ask you that?” To which the young, hot doctor replied, “Yes, this is the fifth time.” #notembarassedatall #imnotahussyitsjustbeenawhile